6. Leopards 2024

Reminiscing in one’s memories is one thing, but to indulge in the memories of others is a pleasure of its own. The Wednesday over spring break I got the opportunity to help out around the Masonic Home taking vital signs for senior patients before they were seen by the doctor. As each patient and I waited for the doctor to finish up with the last, the stories that were told and the memories recounted in those 10 minutes became priceless. There was one man who talked about his comforting farm back in Iowa, reminiscing on how his father didn’t let him name any of the animals (because they could possibly end up on his plate the next morning). There was the navy veteran who reminisced about all the mouthwatering pies that got freshly baked all the time while he was in service, because out at sea the navy ships had their own chefs making delectable meals daily. There was the patient who marveled over the cafeteria sorbet, designating it as the healthiest yet tastiest dessert on the menu (tho...

There's probably around 10000 versions of me floating around the world... Definitely not in the literal sense since there's only one of me (aka the best me), but there's probably around 10000 different versions of me in the memories of every person I've met. Some may think of me as cheery and delightful, others will think I'm always tired and depressing, others will see me as the annoying person who will not stop talking; Some might see me as the person who is always mad or who always gets annoyed, some might see me a dumb, and some might see me as their favorite person to be around.  What always has me thinking is the amount of differing viewpoints that people have about me and how that reflects how they remember me as a person. Sometimes, I fixate on the ones that show me in a negative light though, and that gets me down in the dumps or something, but eventually I realize that perhaps I can't look good to everyone, and I should make the most out of the people ...

When I was younger, my mind was a galaxy filled with   dreams of becoming a doctor, a president, an astronaut, or even a CIA agent. The universe seemed boundless, and my ambitions soared among the vast world I created. Back then, the future was an adventure waiting to unfold, and I eagerly awaited the day when I could reach out and grasp it.  But as the years passed, I found myself wandering through the complexities of getting older, and my ambitions began to dim. The weight of responsibilities, the setbacks, and the pressure led me down various paths. With each passing day, the clarity of purpose I once had was replaced by a fog of uncertainty.  (Image from Pinterest) In moments of quiet reflection, memories of mistakes and missed opportunities flicker through my mind. Regrets that tempt me to dwell on the past flood my thoughts. The desire to rewind the clock, rewrite history, and be absolutely "perfect" can sometimes be overwhelming. Yet, amidst all this, I must learn ...

nothing, except everything .   A year ago, I watched a short film called “nothing, except everything” which is by far my favorite thing on the internet. I have watched it multiple times and each time I love it more (go watch it right now). It was directed by Wesley Wang in his senior year of high school. He created a team of 30-40 people and decided to capture the essence of his teenage years in video format for the viewers. In exactly 12 minutes and 50 seconds, he is able to easily explain the feelings of happiness, loss, euphoria, and frustration that come with being a senior in high school. The film focuses on how fickle time can be and how memories can fade. Wang also discusses how each moment in high school will be something we will remember with warmth and happiness in years to come. Honestly, the way he conveys these topics using meaningful filmography gave me a whole new respect for the arts. I love this film so much that I set a reminder on my phone for 1/1/2025 at 8:00 A...

Ever woken up halfway through an amazing dream that you just don’t want to stop by any means? It’s such a horrible feeling, especially when dream reality is better than first period AP Spanish reality. Sometimes I just want to continue living in that dream. If I can’t sleep and play out the rest of the story, I’d appreciate at least being able to think about it as I get through my morning routine. But whenever I try to do so, I just can’t.  It’s like as the minutes tick by since I’ve woken up, I just can’t seem to remember the specifics of my dreams. Sure I’ll be able to name any of the star characters of it, but definitely none of the details. At first, I used to think that this was just on me: I probably just have horrible memory. But after spending some time figuring out why this happens, I realized that there’s actually psychology to this strange forgetfulness.                                  ...

Photo from Google The standard method that I have stuck to my whole life for memorization has been reading information again and again until I think I will finally be able to remember it. AP exams are coming up in May, so I wanted to learn a bit about how I could improve my learning approach over these next few weeks through the use of more effective memorization techniques. According to this article published by the Learning Center of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, one effective memorization technique is linking the information you learn to something else. For example, if you have to remember a specific number, such as the boiling point of water (212 degrees Fahrenheit), you could link it to a number you are familiar with, such as the first three digits of your friend’s phone number. This works especially well because it leverages the fact that our brains are wired in such a way that all information is linked together. Therefore, if we manually try to link new infor...

Present and Future I’ll be honest, I have no motivation to write this. In fact, I have no motivation to do any of my schoolwork or homework.  Each moment of procrastination or debating whether I can sacrifice first period to get a little extra sleep serves as a stark reminder of my diminishing enthusiasm and commitment to my studies. In these fleeting moments, it’s easy to convince myself that a few more hours of procrastination or the occasional missed class won’t have any significant repercussions. However, I'm acutely aware that each decision I make today will inevitably shape my tomorrow, and my future, whether it be a month, a year, or even five years from now. And this philosophy extends far beyond the realm of academia; it manifests itself in every facet of my life. Each decision I make, no matter the context, adds up to produce what is going to be my future.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that the moments we live in and the things we choose to do right now are what...

Throughout our lives, we constantly need to process and memorize new information. Some people can store extensive amounts of information in their brains (I envy these people so much). I, however, can barely remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday. My terrible memory is a constant problem for me, especially when it comes to tests. So, here is a list of methods I utilize when studying: Use Mnemonic Devices I like to come up with weird acronyms or rhymes to help me memorize information. The weirder your acronyms are, the better. Also, why is “mnemonic” so hard to spell and pronounce? Chunking Breaking down and grouping large amounts of information into smaller pieces makes the information more manageable and less overwhelming. Repetition Reading the information out loud over and over again helps me reinforce it in my brain. For formulas, writing them down on paper several times helps too. Make Connections I love making interesting connections between new concepts and ones that I alrea...

May 2016. Third-grade me gets back from school, and sees my parents in the living room discussing something quite serious. Maybe some adult stuff , I think to myself. Little did I know, later that evening they would break some pretty life-changing news to me: we were moving to Singapore.  Okay, let me clarify — we were temporarily moving for a year or two since my dad's job required him to stay there to complete a project. But to nine-year-old me it seemed like the biggest deal ever. Would I really be leaving Fremont? The only place I'd ever lived in? I'd spent nine long years here and certainly did not plan on moving any time soon. I had already planned my entire life: stay here until I graduate and go to the best university ever (I was a child I didn't know how college admissions worked). But suddenly everything was changing so fast, what would happen in Singapore? How would I ever survive there? Now, as I sit here years later writing this blog, I know that I wouldn...

Monday, lunch. My friends constantly laugh and shout out about something funny that I did a few months ago.  Tuesday, after school. My parents and I recall a vacation we went on a few years ago.  Wednesday evening. I think to myself in my room about how much fun I had when I hung out with my friends at the beach that one time.  All these different events in my life cut down to one simple thing: my camera roll. Whenever I'm bored or just sitting around, I find myself scrolling through my old pictures. In fact, this is exactly what I was doing yesterday evening when I got home from school instead of immediately starting my homework.  It's so interesting how every piece of a memory that I've ever experienced, every single moment can be confined to just one app on a small rectangular device. But is it really that small? 13,369 photos and 1,038 videos can seem so miniature while casually scrolling.  image link I know what you're probably thinking. "Is your memory rea...

This past summer, I think I ended up finding the city I want to live in when I'm older. To be honest, it's weird to say that. It's weird to think that this time next year, we'll be getting ready to graduate, we'll know what college we're going to, we'll be figuring out how to be adults.  This realization ended up hitting me like a truck this last week. I'm seeing all my senior friends flying out for college visits, and I can't help but feel a little scared for what comes next, a feeling I'm sure you all must relate to as well. To be in a position where I feel like I actually might know what I'll be doing in my future is still absurd to me.  I know my major, my dream school, and now where I'd want to live once I start working. And all though where I see myself living in the future isn't across the world or even the country for that matter, I can't help but feel as though I would be betraying all the memories I have here in Fremont....

 Ever since I was 4 years old, I always wanted to be older. I thought the older kids were cooler, smarter, and more put together (basically everything I wanted to be). I remember seeing the older siblings of my friends leave for high school and study in the library after (whoa, so responsible). I remember that they each had their own phones and could call or text whenever they wanted. Some of them even had cars so they could drive places. Everything would be better when I was older.  All throughout elementary school, I wanted to be 18. For some reason, I thought that 18 was going to be my prime year. As far as I was concerned, I could not even imagine myself being older than 18 years old. I thought that would be the peak age of maturity for me. Every birthday was memorable. I remember my family friends baked a homemade cake for my 7th birthday. My 10th birthday was especially memorable because I was turning to double digits. I remember decorating my living room with pink ...

Everyone is pretty moody, including me. But outside of shifts in emotional states that occasionally diversify our personalities, imagine multiple people literally living in your body. How plausible does this sound?  Memory is like a house with many rooms, each representing different points in our lives, experiences, and identities. But what if this house isn't just a host for you but 16 other people? This is a consistent reality for people living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), a condition where a person's identity is fragmented into distinct personality states.  Unfortunately, people who were diagnosed with this disorder faced something so traumatic and painful in their childhood (5-6 years old, during the personality development stage of our lives) that their brains constructed a state of amnesia around this recurring event.  Our brain is like our protector, ensuring that we live healthy and safe lives despite any obstacles.  (image from nami.org) R...

Photo from Google My family has always been interested in tennis. When I was 7 years old, they took my brother and I to Wimbledon , arguably the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world, where I had the opportunity to watch matches between some of the best tennis players in the world. I remember the experience, which encouraged me to quit soccer and start playing tennis, like it was yesterday. It was 2015 and the summer before 4th grade. I was tired of going to summer camps with my brother and told them that I wanted to try something new, something different. We had not gone on vacation in a while, so my parents decided to plan a last-minute trip to London. I never asked why we were going to London, of all places. I thought we would be going sightseeing, like we always did when we visited new places, but little did I know that I would be having one of the most influential experiences of my life. The plan was to buy a grounds pass, so we could roam the courts and freely watch th...

Once upon a time in a land half a mile away from American High School, there lived a boy who was frantically studying for a chemistry test.  "What is this??? How do you do this so😭I'm gonna die" The boy was cramming the night before, oblivious to the fact that he was going to fail the test anyway... That night the boy learned a valuable lesson: do not try to cram and remember everything just hours before the test.  Of course, this boy is referring to me... HAHAHAH I totally aced that test (probably not) but anyway, I had a fun time realizing my mistake that night and I won't make that mistake again (I 100% will never trust me). Anyways I think that night is currently my "fondest memory." I mean most people say that their fondest memory is their greatest achievement in their live or some random milestone, but for me, my fondest memory is always changing based on what happens in my life; even though the thought of me cramming for the test isn't the most p...

Puzzle Pieces of Memories Throughout my life, I’ve moved from one place to another 8 different times. With each place comes a brand new house, schools, faces, names—a complete reinvention of my life.  I often reflect on my feelings about how much I’ve moved around and how much I feel like that has affected my identity and various aspects of my life. The other day, as I thought about the idea of growing up, forming lifelong friendships, and settling down with a partner, I couldn’t shake the realization that I lack a place to nostalgically share with them—a childhood home for me to give them a tour of, explain the decorations of, and call “home.”  Seemingly trivial details like this always make me wish that my family would have settled in one place. If this was the case, I probably could have cultivated longer-lasting friendships and overall lived a more stable life.  At a certain point in my childhood, I found myself withdrawing from forming attachments with people my age ...

Dear Brain, It’s April.  And I am physically, emotionally, and mentally burnt out. Why? Because it is officially AP season! In May, I have to face my worst enemy: College Board. And I’m scared, nervous, and stressed. I rather spend a day with a giant spider (and you know that I am absolutely terrified of spiders).  I’m scared that you will fail me. Every single bit of information that I have learned over the past year will completely vanish. I know that you have a PhD in forgetfulness, but I need you to pretend that your PhD does not exist for a little while.   You are fully aware of my fears and nightmares related to these tests. For AP Psych, what if I can’t remember who Freud is? For APUSH, what if I suddenly forget who George Washington is? For AP Calculus, what if I can’t remember all those formulas that look the same? For APENG, what if I can’t pull any information from my head for the argumentative essay? For AP Bio, what if I forget how DNA is structured? Wha...