Week 14: Birthdays - Prathithi Nellaiappan

 Ever since I was 4 years old, I always wanted to be older. I thought the older kids were cooler, smarter, and more put together (basically everything I wanted to be). I remember seeing the older siblings of my friends leave for high school and study in the library after (whoa, so responsible). I remember that they each had their own phones and could call or text whenever they wanted. Some of them even had cars so they could drive places. Everything would be better when I was older. 

All throughout elementary school, I wanted to be 18. For some reason, I thought that 18 was going to be my prime year. As far as I was concerned, I could not even imagine myself being older than 18 years old. I thought that would be the peak age of maturity for me.

Every birthday was memorable. I remember my family friends baked a homemade cake for my 7th birthday. My 10th birthday was especially memorable because I was turning to double digits. I remember decorating my living room with pink and golden balloons and wearing a crown for my sweet 16. Each year, I was getting a little older and a little closer to being 18.

This year I turn 18 years old. In a couple months, according to my younger self, I should have my life figured out. I should be ready to be independent and I should be ready to live in “the real world.” Now as a 17.52348 year old, I know that won’t be true. I know that life does not end at 18 and that people continue to grow no matter what age they are. 


For example, when I was younger, I thought my parents had everything figured out because of how old they were. The truth is, everyone is confused at any point in life and experiencing whatever they are going through for the first time. No one knows if you are going on the right path but that's ok. It is ok to not have everything figured out. It is ok to continue growing even as an adult. In fact, that’s the beauty of life. Each year is a new one that holds new mysteries and adventures that you continue to grow from. You will never have everything figured out, no matter how old you are, and that's perfectly fine.



Comments

  1. Hi Prathithi! This blog was really insightful and interesting to read. Like you, and like many kids (I think), I was also really eager to grow up when I was young. I was desperate for the freedom that seemed to come with age. Similar to your story, as I watched the older kids in my life, I would think that becoming like them was the ultimate goal for me in life. For me, I think my eagerness to get older made me stop valuing my birthdays as much. In fact, I don't even remember the last time I had a proper party or celebration for my birthday. There are different reasons for this, but ultimately it's mainly because I just don't think the past few birthdays I've had were worth celebrating. After all, like you said, 18 still kind of seems like the "prime" age. It is true that a lot of freedom comes with becoming a legal adult, but in terms of what's expected for life (according to the social clock) after you turn 18, I think it's subjective for everyone. Like you, I probably won't have my life figured out at 18 like I thought I would when I was young. In fact, none of the adults I know do. Considering all of this, I do wish that there was less of a social pressure to age quickly and have everything planned out for your life. There is always room for change and growth and while having plans is important, it doesn't hurt to just go with the flow of life sometimes.

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  2. Hi Prathithi! I really enjoyed reading your blog. I too, always wanted to be older throughout elementary school. I would watch my older brother and his friends, who were way older than me and would find myself being in awe with the life they lived; I found it so cool how they all had phones, how they seemed so cool in their demeanor as if they had everything figured out. In reality, they were just high schoolers, just as I am now. And they certainly did not have everything figured out. I found it interesting how you specified that individuals can face confusion at any point in their life, and I completely agree! Now that I'm 17, I realize that being older is not as cool or amazing as I once thought it was; in fact, I often find myself worrying about the fact that we will be graduating soon (although I am also excited about it, it's complicated). But the reminder that we don't need to have everything figured out was definitely refreshing! I am a tad less worried about next year knowing that it'll hold more "new mysteries and adventures," as you put it.

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  3. Hi Prathithi! Like you I also thought that “everything would be better when I was older.” I always admired how my brother and his friends acted (with a sense of freedom and independence) and I was so excited to be older back then. Personally, I also thought that 18 was the perfect age to be since people could vote at that age, they could drive, and they were considered mature enough to be called an adult.
    I think the second I turned 16 it actually hit me that I was turning older too quickly and I suddenly started wishing that I was back in elementary school, having fun without the pressure of becoming an adult. I’m still 16 but as the months pass by I could feel myself growing more anxious at the thought of becoming older.
    I loved the paragraph you included in the end because truly no one has to have everything figured out, even if they are older. There is so much life left to live, to keep growing and developing every birthday.

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  4. Hi Prathithi! Ahhh your blog definitely brought back a rush of memories. I also really wanted to be older when I was still at Ardenwood. It started off with wanting to be a sixth grader, then that turned into wanting to be in middle school, and then I started imagining life as a senior. It's absolutely absurd to think that that's next year. It's funny how we always thought the older kids had it all figured out. Now we're like them, and I can confidently say that I have basically nothing figured out. In my mind, 2025 is still 5 years away. Senior year and becoming 18 sounds so fun but I know that it's also so stressful. Adulting doesn't look like it's going to get easier. Even honestly just saying that I'm 17 and I'm a junior is unreal sometimes. I just hope that we all find the path we're bound to walk down on and that whatever happens to us in the coming year happens for only the best.

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