Amrita Week 14; Puzzle Pieces of Memories
Puzzle Pieces of Memories
Throughout my life, I’ve moved from one place to another 8 different times. With each place comes a brand new house, schools, faces, names—a complete reinvention of my life.
I often reflect on my feelings about how much I’ve moved around and how much I feel like that has affected my identity and various aspects of my life. The other day, as I thought about the idea of growing up, forming lifelong friendships, and settling down with a partner, I couldn’t shake the realization that I lack a place to nostalgically share with them—a childhood home for me to give them a tour of, explain the decorations of, and call “home.”
Seemingly trivial details like this always make me wish that my family would have settled in one place. If this was the case, I probably could have cultivated longer-lasting friendships and overall lived a more stable life.
At a certain point in my childhood, I found myself withdrawing from forming attachments with people my age each time I moved to a new place. I thought, If I’m going to leave anyway, there’s no use in getting attached to people here and hurting myself eventually. So I chose solitude over vulnerability.
In essence, I stripped the value out of the memories I had created in all my previous homes and refused to make memories in the future ones. If the recollection of these memories would hurt me later on, maybe it was better to not make any at all.
As I grew older and learned to see beyond the moment I was currently living in, I began to understand the importance of appreciating all of life’s moments put together. I realized that though painful when I reminisce about them, each house, each school, each face, and each name has taught me about perspective and adaptability, and has shaped me into the person I am now.
Hi Amrita! Thank you for sharing some of your most vulnerable thoughts through this blog. I can’t even imagine how it feels to have reset your life eight different times. I would probably feel overwhelmed and scared. I have a friend who, like you, often moved a lot because of her father’s career. She, too, does not have a childhood home to share, but I always love to hear her different stories about the places she lived in. All these different memories that you have make you a stronger person, and I think that’s wonderful. In the end, I am glad that you were able to realize that it is important to appreciate good and bad memories. No matter how painful some of these memories might be, every single memory is part of our personal identity. We just need to piece our memories together, like a puzzle. I love your beautiful and descriptive way of writing, and I look forward to reading your next blog!
ReplyDeleteHi Amrita, your blog was quite insightful and interesting to read. Although I haven't moved quite as much as you have, I do remember in my third grade, when I moved from my elementary school in Fremont to spend a year in Singapore because of my dad's job. I remember being extremely confused, especially because I was just around 8 years old when I learned I would be moving. Even though it was just for a year, I was scared to leave behind all of my memories and everything I had ever known. Of course, it is not nearly the same as your situation, as I eventually did move back to Fremont; however, I think the beauty behind moving around that much is that all those places and people you have met along the way have shaped your identity, as you said it yourself in your blog. Overall, your blog was detailed and intricate, and that's something I liked most about your writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Amrita, I never knew that you had moved around this much, although I did know about your move from Dublin High School to American High School, I never realized that it totaled up to 8 different locations throughout your whole life. I can't imagine the amount of time and energy that would take constantly moving around and making new friends only for you to have to move away eventually. If it was me I'd probably be constantly crying and sobbing over the friends I used to have and how I hate the new places that would come next. I think that's what I really admire about you, you are so tenacious, and you never give up no matter what comes your way, even if you do you have to move around constantly and put in a bunch of energy to make new friends and get settled and get to know the place that you're now new to. I do hope that you can make new memories that will last you forever while you're here though, I do really enjoy talking to you and being around you and being able to talk about anything we want, especially since you're so energetic and interesting. Thanks for the amazing blogggg.
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